To Bikram Yoga Elk Grove

I love Bikram Yoga Elk Grove. LOVE, as in from the bottom of my soul, I am so grateful that this studio holds its mark in the world, and even more so that I was lucky enough to stumble upon it in this lifetime.  Though I one day hope to have a studio of my own just like this, I know this kind of community didn’t just pop up over night. You can feel its welcoming vibe as soon as you walk in and you know that it’s a product of love… at least a decade of hard work and love. It really is a yoga family… After all, that’s how it should be, because we all see each other so often, and because we might as well get to know a little more about each other if we’re going to sweat side by side wearing less than what even our close friends have seen us in! 

It’s the little things, like sweet words of encouragement and inspiration in between sets, the mini celebrations we throw for each other when we have breakthroughs, and the endless warmth and love that is shared within the walls of our small, yet wonderfully cozy studio…. All of that, and so much more makes BYEG permanently stand out from other places in our hearts. Part of that is Elk Grove, but a lot of that is Carrie Bain and the amazing core group of women that have stood by her side, helping her along the way. 

For what little time I’ve spent here, I’m proud to have been a small part of that group, not just teaching but also getting to work behind the scenes. I have learned tremendously about yoga, about teaching yoga, about running a yoga studio, about my students, and even about myself. I have come to love my practice no matter how frustrating it may feel at times, to love myself regardless of how I look, to truly love others, to realize my potential… that I have a potential. We all do. We all can. That’s all yoga…. It is if you want it to truly change you on the inside.  That’s what my time at BYEG has taught me. All of that and so much more. 

For all of this I am eternally grateful. For all of this, BYEG will always be a part of me.  And for all of this, I will always be proud to say that this is the place where I was “yoga born”. That this is where I learned to be a nicer person, to myself and to others. This is where I learned what love really means and how far it can take us. This is where I learned how to backbend without fear… to subsequently proceed forward with confidence. This is where I learned who I truly was, am, and want to become.

That being said, I must move on to continue that process. Not just on the mat, but also, perhaps more importantly, off the mat too. So this July, I will be moving my practice to Orange County, where I will be cutting back on teaching, and will first incorporate more learning, followed by working in a different field: Real Estate. Orange County, not just for the great weather and opportunities, but also to be closer to my mom and the rest of our family. I must take my own practice to the next level, because I am ready. Because this is what I’ve been practicing for, this is what I’ve been making myself stronger and more flexible for…. To be the best me I can be, just as we encourage you to do for yourself. Its time for me to practice what I preach, not just in the hot room, but also outside… hopefully in an air-conditioned office while wearing more, and nicer clothes.   

Honestly, there really is nothing I could ever say or do to truly justify the amount of gratitude I have for this beautiful little gem of a studio in Northern California.  All I can say is from the bottom of my yogi heart, THANK YOU! Thank you Carrie Bain for BYEG and all the love and support you provide to us. Thank you to all the teachers and staff, that I have had the pleasure of working with and learning from… without whom I would never have come to believe in myself and in my practice. And a huge thank you to our amazing students for your immense patience as I try to find my own voice on the podium, for your endless warmth and inspiration, and for being so kind to Stretch and letting her be a part of our yoga family too. 

I’m taking all of you with me… Each and every one of you and the moments we have shared will always hold a dear place in my heart and soul. No worries, I certainly will come back and visit. And part of me will always be here with you, even if it is just a tiny bit of my sweat soaked through the carpet into the concrete beneath! And YOU will always have one more yoga family (two if you count my mom, darLing… three plus Stretch) member to visit and hang out with when you are down south. This is not the end… but really the beginning of something even more beautiful. We just gotta keep going to find out!

Love and Namaste,

Justine & Stretch

Just another day at BYEG!

Exhale

Check check...

Bikram Yoga Teacher Training Checklist

-highlighters, pens- mark the hell out of your dialogue, it really helps!

-clothing rack to dry your clothes on

-a shopping bag on wheels for trips to the store without a car

-hot water maker/boiler, what are those things called?

-hot plate/small grill to cook with

-plates, utensils, paper towels, etc
-knife and cutting board

-tupperware
-extension cord... you might need more sockets to plug your stuff into if you plan on bringing applicances, laptops, phones, etc.
--camera

-snacks for lecture/posture clinics etc.
-eat what you crave while you're there. Random, but a lot of us craved salt and vinegar chips!

-Extra ice chest: get ice from non-TT floors, those usually aren't empty

-Tea/Coffee

-HYDROFLASK(S)

-travel blanket/small pillow- it gets cold during the late night lectures

-ear plugs

-chocolate

-electrolytes: honey/lemon/water, supplements or powders, coconut water, etc.

-"No Sweat"

-something to throw on over your yoga clothes before/after class

-more yoga clothes that you could teach in, for posture clinics

-some brought foam rollers or tennis balls
-comfortable footwear/ flip flops
-epsom salts
-essential oils (my mom swears by these... you can apply them topically to alleviate the soreness, some brands you can digest, helping boost your immune system, amongst many other benefits. something that came in really handy during training)

-some cash to tip the valet for helping you carry your stuff upstairs on day 1. You don't want to be hauling all that stuff and making that many trips up and down, conserve your energy- you'll be needing all of it soon :)

-A warm sweatshirt

-notebook to take notes/doodle/ and write dialogue in

-a journal or blog... reading through my posts from training, though only a couple months have passed, everything is coming back and its crazy how much one forgets because it seems like such a surreal blur

-a mantra, or something that you can remind your self when times get tough

Oh and Good Thai food. We'd call them before the 5pm class and would ask them to deliver at 7.

http://www.ayarathaicuisine.com/#/home 

Week 9, certified!!

Week eight, can you believe it??

We've been in this yoga bubble for so long that I've forgotten about life before teacher training. It's difficult to fathom that this coming Friday, we will officially be certified Bikram teachers. I don't feel like I'm ready to call myself that, to actually step onto the podium and teach a 90 minute class. But then again, I didn't feel  like I was ready to come to teacher training eight weeks ago either, and look where we are today! We surprise ourselves sometimes, both on and off the mat. And often times, it takes not thinking about things and just letting it all happen.

Monday was our last posture clinic. It was also the beginning of the brief moments to come where I would catch myself thinking about how far we've come, about how much we have grown, and about how much I'm going to miss moments that have come to make up our current reality. It is incredible to witness how people in my posture clinic group have found their voices, gained confidence in their teachings, and have come to even enjoy getting up there to share the dialogue we have memorized. I don't have the exact words for it, but I guess its part pride and part happiness for my fellow trainees in witnessing the great strides they have taken. To see people go through this metamorphosis and to have the privilege of sharing this experience with them, that it what has made the sweat, tears, and long nights worth it. And I now understand why so many teachers choose to come back to teacher training on their own dime, as well as where their sense of bittersweet nostalgia comes from. Four weeks ago, I thought they were all crazy. Now, I see that they're human. Perhaps a little crazy still. After all, this is Bikram Yoga.

So four more yoga days until this becomes a memory of the past that will probably creep up in my future presents as my time at teacher training. How strange is that? I'm looking forward to ending this chapter and beginning the next one, as nerve-wracking as it may be.

Some Bikram quotes...

Do you think I am a normal human being? ... Now the question is, how not normal?
I don't like cold food, I don't like cold hearts, and I don't like cold pussy!
But anyway, don't do anything to take away my concentration! I'm going to kill you now.

Bikram last night...

"What's going on in the left side corner? Somebody is doing silent but deadly or something??"

Bikram, this week.

Wow. There's two kinds of drinks. Hot chocolate and honey lemon... which one do I want? Hot chocolate... (takes a sip) Faaaaantastic!
You can't finish class in one hour. Its like high school sex. No good!
Why your heart hate your lungs? Its a horrible marriage. Between an asshole and a bitch.
Hey! Don't throw up on here. Its a new fucking carpet.
Now. The wise man comes. His name is...? BIKRAM!
I'm a combination of English bulldog and Bengal Tiger. Don't mess with me!
Like yesterday, I had to ask you guys 100 times to stop because you kept talking... Ok I exaggerate a little- I'm Indian!
And to the young lady who fell asleep during lecture with her legs uncrossed... Hellooo! I can see your uterus!
Operation successful. Patient is dead. Doctors are proud. Because they get paid by the Blue Cross!
I sell pain! Can you believe it??
Don't you know you can't make a clap with one hand? You need two hands, you idiot.
On Raja Yoga... You're all practicing it right now. When you go home, are you going to rob a bank? Are you going to kill somebody? Are you going to take revenge on your ex-husband? Chop his balls off and play ping pong with it?...maybe...

Four

Insane day. After dialogues finished at midnight last night, Bikram decided to show us a Bollywood movie. Then lectured for an hour. We ended up back in our rooms a little after 4 in the morning, only to pass out in bed and wake up three hours later for our morning class.

Emmy Cleaves taught this morning. What an inspiring and incredible teacher, I wouldn't have expected anything less from his Senior teacher. I just wish I wasn't so darn stiff and sleep-deprived to do all the postures and properly enjoy the class.

Half Moon continued in the afternoon followed by another class taught by Bikram himself. I think I'm getting the hang of this system. For the first time, I was actually able to take his class, actually practice, and fully enjoy him for who he is and what he does. I felt like for the first time at this training, I was actually able to be present, or as present as I could ever be running off of three hours of sleep.

Treated ourselves to Thai food today as a little gift. That and our mini-fridge is running a little low. So far so good. Now off to our evening dialogue clinic for more Half Moon and most probably Bikram's first official lecture. I just hope he doesn't hold us till 4 again, otherwise I just might be in bits and pieces tomorrow.

Three

Woke up today and immediately thought, "so I guess this is really happening". This was the first time the little monkeys jumping around in my brain stopped whining, complaining, and looking for an escape route, and finally just accepted the circumstances I have somehow found myself in. It was also the first time I thought about what I had to do today (take class, shower and cram lunch down within an hour, posture clinic, another class, shower and crap dinner down and nap, and posture clinic till Bikram knows when), rationalized it, and honestly believed "one step at a time, one breath at a time".

Walking into my class this morning, I just thought, "alright, bring it on". And I had a pretty good class. Well, not pretty good for my normal Bikram standards. But pretty good for my TT standards. Basically here at TT, any class that I can actually do all the postures and stay in the room for, is a good class in my book. I was pretty ecstatic about being able to finally give all my postures a shot for so long (oh floor bow how I have missed you!).

Dialogue clinics continued with more reciting Half Moon pose. I decided that I'm going to start writing down  what Bikram says, because this man is absolutely a character. He is like the Jean-Luc Godard of Yoga. Only if he heard me say that, he'd probably say something along the lines of "Fuck you, idiot. That Jean-Luc is the Bikram Choudhury of Cinema!" Here's some random things I've jotted down...

"Is Pluto really gone?? Somebody tell me..."

"You have to give your energy! What happens when your boyfriend doesn't buy you gifts? You chop the fucking balls off. You have to give more energy!"

Halfway through people reciting Half Moon, he made a girl wait about ten minutes before her turn as he proceeded to show us his collection of expensive watches.... "You give me your money and I buy this watch. I don't give a fuck if you like it or not, you follow?"

What a character.

Second class today was definitely my best one yet. A teacher named Juan taught and I absolutely fell in love with my practice all over again. He was excellent, no bullshit, yet funny at the same time. Everything, the heat, the temperature, and everything about that second class, made it a perfect Bikram class. And I'm so glad, because under any other circumstances, a double today probably would have killed me. Instead, it took me to an even better point of my practice, both mentally and physically.

Time to go to our evening dialogue clinic. Bikram had the projectors set up today, suggesting that after dialogues tonight, we will probably be watching a Bollywood movie. I'm already tired and should have napped but its too late for that now. Fingers crossed, he doesn't keep us up too late. But the days been going so damn well today that I think with my luck, we'll probably be up till at least 2 in the morning. No, no negative thoughts. One moment at a time. And all I need to do now is post this blog and get my sore little butt downstairs. And that, I'm pretty sure I can do.

Two: Half Moon!

Had another brutal class this morning, taught by Jim Kallett. Mom and I decided to give Gatorade a try right before and during class. That idea immediately came back and slapped me in the face during the spine strengthening series and for the first time in my Bikram life, I had to leave and throw up. First time for everything, and now that I've experienced that, its not really a thing to fear any more.

Today was day one of "Half Moon". 99 of us took went up to the stage and recited Half Moon Pose in front of all 400 or so people, and Bikram himself.

I decided to go today and got most of my nervousness out while waiting in line. A second wave of nervousness definitely hit me as soon as I got up there and made eye contact with Bikram. I'm totally used to public speaking, and have spoken in front of a bigger crowd. But when you have to recite Half Moon Pose verbatim to the man who wrote it, it doesn't matter how many others are watching- a little bit of stage fright, or perhaps starstruck syndrome, will probably kick in.

It's funny because if you were to simply write down the words that came out of Bikram's mouth, you would think he were a complete jackass or something worse. But somehow, when you hear him say his advice to you and others, when you actually see him saying it, all you feel is love. You can feel that from the bottom of his heart, despite the fact he's calling your dialogue "the most boring fucking thing in the world", he sincerely is rooting for you and wants to help you reach your potential as a teacher. Still, I hoped to bits and pieces that he wouldn't tear me apart in front of everyone, despite his good intentions.

I got up there and took the microphone from the person before me as they stepped in line to demonstrate my directions. After introducing myself and telling him that I was from Sacramento, he asked me where I was from originally. We had a little conversation about Taiwan and a woman who had demonstrated for us a day earlier who also half-originated from there as well. Somehow this segued into me calling my mom out, who was sitting in the crowd. "Hello Mom!" Bikram said. And I started my dialogue. Boy was my hand shaking! Some time right after the line, "Hips more forward, upper body back more, weight in heels" Bikram cut me off with an abrupt "Ok". I was so shocked, I thought I had seriously screwed up. He looked at me and said, "Excellent" and motioned for the next person. I almost peed a little, I was in such shock. And that was how I officially met Bikram.

Bikram taught our afternoon class, kicking our butts per usual. I think I'm beginning to find the right balance of what I need to do before and during class, hydration and nutrition-wise, in order to survive the 90 minutes. It really is nothing like the way I've practiced at any studio and under any other circumstance. These classes aren't really like real life Bikram classes we've been used to back at home. They warned us about it (telling us how even life-long vegetarians will find themselves craving and eating steak), and I've given it a lot of thought, but somehow actually living through it is just a whole other experience. The normal rules really don't apply here. Its interesting though, really forces you out of your comfort zone and routine. Its forcing me to wake up and go along my day without any expectations. In fact, there is no room for expectations when all you're thinking about is what is in front of you here and now.

Half Moon pose continued as we met for our evening posture clinic after dinner. My mom went up and did so well, it was incredible. She was so calm and said the dialogue so well. So proud of her! Even Bikram said she did well, though he told her afterwards that he had expected hers to be great after seeing mine. Apparently the pressure was on!

After 99 people had recited Half Moon, Bikram decided to call it a night. He initially had planned for us to watch a Bollywood movie afterwards but decided against it, letting us out at exactly midnight. Part of me wishes I were still an insomniac so I'd be better physically and mentally prepared for these long nights to come. Ironically, my Bikram practice is what helps me fall asleep early these days, and stay asleep.

I have a feeling I'm going to be sore tomorrow, after my first TT double...

One: Orientation part deux

Met Bikram this morning. What a surreal experience.

Just got out of my first class taught by Bikram. The heat was one thing, but it was damn humid. Mirrors fogging up humid. Clouds floating in the room humid.

In my experience, I have only left the room once to use the restroom. I have taken a knee a few times, but usually only during Triangle Pose. Today, I found myself taking a knee immediately after my first set of Standing Bow, leaving the room after Wind Removing Pose, and coming back after floor Bow was over to finish with some piece of dignity. Usually, no matter how terrible I feel, I am able to rationalize not leaving the room, whether it be from my stubbornness or from the fact that the urge to leave typically passes after a couple deep breaths.

Today, it seemed like the more deep breaths I took, the more I found myself not being able to control my body and mind. For the first time in my practice, the world around me seemed to pause, and I couldn't hear or register what we were being asked to do. I found myself taking a knee, deciding to get up to do the next set, and immediately facing another head rush and losing control once again. It got to the point where I realized that if I had stayed on my mat, I probably wouldn't have been able to get up to finish the series. So I left, knowing that at least I'd be able to get some air and come back and do at least some of the postures rather than none. The crazy thing is that despite missing half of the series, my towel was absolutely drenched. I have never practiced so little, yet I have also never sweat so much.

If that's what Bikram yoga really is then I have no idea what the hell I've been doing all these months. He's actually a pretty interesting character, and quite entertaining during class. I wish I had it in me to muster up some well-deserved laughs for him.

What upset me the most was that I had the best of intentions of practicing to the best of my ability today. In fact, after not practicing for a couple days, my body craved the series. I feel like a lot of us, especially those traveling from across the world, needed to do the series today, yet weren't even given a chance to. By the end of Standing Bow, at least 40% of the room had taken a knee. And it just went downhill from there. Most of the women who were in the bathroom cooling down and re-hydrating next to me also claimed that they had never left the room, or even taken a knee, before in their lives. It was like the twilight zone of Bikram classes.

Everyone I spoke to had the exact same reaction, "what the fuck?!". I'm hoping that this was just Bikram's way of tearing us apart so we leave our egos at the door, because this was the most brutal class of my life, fifty times worse than my first class less than a year ago. And at the very least thirty times worse than my actual first class ever taken, three years ago, when I decided the room was full of crazies and would never partake in this routine ever again.

I'm probably 90% speaking from yoga brain but, I'm definitely feeling lost.

Part of me is dreading tomorrow morning's class, but I just need to remind myself that I don't need to do that now. For now, my only responsibility is to sleep. And that I can certainly do. More to come.