Had another brutal class this morning, taught by Jim Kallett. Mom and I decided to give Gatorade a try right before and during class. That idea immediately came back and slapped me in the face during the spine strengthening series and for the first time in my Bikram life, I had to leave and throw up. First time for everything, and now that I've experienced that, its not really a thing to fear any more.
Today was day one of "Half Moon". 99 of us took went up to the stage and recited Half Moon Pose in front of all 400 or so people, and Bikram himself.
I decided to go today and got most of my nervousness out while waiting in line. A second wave of nervousness definitely hit me as soon as I got up there and made eye contact with Bikram. I'm totally used to public speaking, and have spoken in front of a bigger crowd. But when you have to recite Half Moon Pose verbatim to the man who wrote it, it doesn't matter how many others are watching- a little bit of stage fright, or perhaps starstruck syndrome, will probably kick in.
It's funny because if you were to simply write down the words that came out of Bikram's mouth, you would think he were a complete jackass or something worse. But somehow, when you hear him say his advice to you and others, when you actually see him saying it, all you feel is love. You can feel that from the bottom of his heart, despite the fact he's calling your dialogue "the most boring fucking thing in the world", he sincerely is rooting for you and wants to help you reach your potential as a teacher. Still, I hoped to bits and pieces that he wouldn't tear me apart in front of everyone, despite his good intentions.
I got up there and took the microphone from the person before me as they stepped in line to demonstrate my directions. After introducing myself and telling him that I was from Sacramento, he asked me where I was from originally. We had a little conversation about Taiwan and a woman who had demonstrated for us a day earlier who also half-originated from there as well. Somehow this segued into me calling my mom out, who was sitting in the crowd. "Hello Mom!" Bikram said. And I started my dialogue. Boy was my hand shaking! Some time right after the line, "Hips more forward, upper body back more, weight in heels" Bikram cut me off with an abrupt "Ok". I was so shocked, I thought I had seriously screwed up. He looked at me and said, "Excellent" and motioned for the next person. I almost peed a little, I was in such shock. And that was how I officially met Bikram.
Bikram taught our afternoon class, kicking our butts per usual. I think I'm beginning to find the right balance of what I need to do before and during class, hydration and nutrition-wise, in order to survive the 90 minutes. It really is nothing like the way I've practiced at any studio and under any other circumstance. These classes aren't really like real life Bikram classes we've been used to back at home. They warned us about it (telling us how even life-long vegetarians will find themselves craving and eating steak), and I've given it a lot of thought, but somehow actually living through it is just a whole other experience. The normal rules really don't apply here. Its interesting though, really forces you out of your comfort zone and routine. Its forcing me to wake up and go along my day without any expectations. In fact, there is no room for expectations when all you're thinking about is what is in front of you here and now.
Half Moon pose continued as we met for our evening posture clinic after dinner. My mom went up and did so well, it was incredible. She was so calm and said the dialogue so well. So proud of her! Even Bikram said she did well, though he told her afterwards that he had expected hers to be great after seeing mine. Apparently the pressure was on!
After 99 people had recited Half Moon, Bikram decided to call it a night. He initially had planned for us to watch a Bollywood movie afterwards but decided against it, letting us out at exactly midnight. Part of me wishes I were still an insomniac so I'd be better physically and mentally prepared for these long nights to come. Ironically, my Bikram practice is what helps me fall asleep early these days, and stay asleep.
I have a feeling I'm going to be sore tomorrow, after my first TT double...
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